Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Things have been good since the last time I posted. I went for my HSG test and everything came out great. I have no blockage, and I was sure that I had something wrong but I didn't and I have God to thank for that. I've also come to terms with God is in control of everything and I just have to let him take control of this situation and try and live a normal life with Matt. So, I've told Matt and myself that I'm done worrying and I'm not going to stress anymore about us getting pregnant and when God want's us to have a baby he will bless us when He thinks that we are ready and until that day come's, I'm gonna enjoy my life and enjoy all my free time I can with Matt, our families, and my awesome friends. I just keep praying for patience and strength and for God to take away all my worries and I know that he is doing all of that, because a few day's ago I was worried about a situation at work, and that same day, God took my worries away and I know that He is watching over me. I've also changes some things in my daily life and I have a great friend, (Melissa) to thank for that. I use to listen to radio station's like 106.1 or 93.1 or even country stations, don't get me wrong, I like some of those stations, but I will always remember what Melissa told me one day, she told me that she listen's to KVNE, which is a Christian radio station, because it make's her feel better and it let's her know that God is alway's there, so I took her advice and that is all I listen to know when I'm in the car or when I'm cooking dinner for us, I just pop in a cd that she made for me and I just listen to it and it makes me feel so much better. So, for now I'm just gonna relax and enjoy my life and live for God.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Lots on the mind
So as some of you may know, Matt and I have been trying to get pregnant for awhile now and we haven't had any luck. Well I go to the dr this Tuesday for a HSG test to see if I have any blockage. The test isn't suppose to be painful but then again, I don't handle any type of pain. But, what they will do is put some dye into my body to see if I have any blockage in my fallopian tubes or if there is any thing else wrong. So, I go Tuesday @ 12:00 to have that done. But, I just pray that whatever is wrong with me they will find out Tuesday and we can get this thing fixed. When I was little I always thought that God had a plan for me and I always thought that plan was to be a mommie. That is what I want more then anything in this world. I want to be able to create something so wonderful and know that Matt and me created this little baby and that this baby was created with love. Everybody keeps telling me that it will happend if you relax and not worry about it or stress about it. But my repsonse to all of that is this, "If you can tell me a way to relax and not worry or stress about this type of situation then by all means please tell me how to do it because I will try just about anything." What frustrates me the most in all this is, I see women out there and even teenagers for the matter, who don't have a care in the world or can't afford to take care of themselves lead along a baby, and they get pregnant just like that. Where as me, I avoided trying to get pregnant by taking birth control, and now that Matt and me want to have a baby, we are having a hard time. I just don't understand and I guess I never will. All I can do is pray and that is what I do, but there is apart of me that wonders if that is enough. I know I shouldn't think like that because God will provided for his people and I know that he will provided for me. I know that God will grant us a baby like he did Abraham and Sarah. Sarah thought she would never be able to have childrean with Abraham but God blessed her in their old age. So I have to look at this story and tell myself God will bless me just like he did Sarah and I know that he will.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Special Thanks
Where to begin. I've thought long and hard about doing a blog and I've decided to go ahead and do one thanks to Jessica Bryant. I read her blog the other day about her testimony and it really touched my heart and I was so glad that she shared those special events in her life. After reading her testimony it got me to thinking about sharing mine as well. So here it goes.
It all started 8 yrs ago when I met Matt. I had just bought my first car and I went to his church, which also happens to be where my aunt and uncle go. I went there to show them my car and he just happened to be there. We talked some while I was there and that was about it. At that point in my life, I just come out of a relationship, where I wasn't treated the way I should have been and I had a lot of trust issues with men and I wasn't going to church. I had always gone to church because my nana took me and so did my great aunt and uncle. But at that particular time in my life, I was straying from God and wasn't doing things that I should be doing. I will be completley honest with you, I was drinking all the time and partying and needless to say, I failed out of college because of my behavior. So, when I met Matt I was attracted to him and I thought that I would start coming to church to see him. So I did and we talked more and more. Then one day after evening service our church had a softball game and I decided to go to it. I rememeber that day just like it was yesterday, Matt and me flirted the whole time and when the game was over and I was walking to my car I kept saying to myself that I wish Matt would ask for my number. And soon as I thought that, my uncle yells at me and he wants to know my telephone # and I asked him why and he said that Matt wanted it. Matt told me that he was going to ask me for it anyways. So I gave it to him not expecting a phone call or anything but the next day he called me. We talked that whole week on the phone and we finally went on a date. We went to Tyler to Chedders and went to see The Rookie. I was so nervous the whole time. We both wanted to hold each other's hand's and we both wanted to kiss each other at the end of the date but we were scared. The next night I was talking to my dad and he asked about Matt and asked if I heard anything from him and "I said I sure hope so dad, cause I really like him." And at that moment the phone rang and it was Matt and he said to me "Was I suppose to call you back" and I told him "YES!!!"
So the dating process began and we had our ups and downs and there were points in our relationship where I thought we would break up but God had another plan for us. You know they always say that when you find the right person and you know that it's the right person it will hit you. Well that saying is true because it happened to me. I remember exactly when I knew Matt was the one for me. He was coaching his brother's summer baseball team and he had called time out and was walking to the pitcher mound and when he was walking to it I looked at him and it just hit me. I knew right then and there that God had put him in my life for a reason and that I had gone through all the stuff I had to be with this one man. After 4 yrs of dating, which I am so thankful that we dated that long because we got to know each other so well, he finally proposed to me on our 4 yr anniversary. We had been at his apartment and had gone to eat and see a movie and as I was getting in bed I was thinking to myself, this is it...we've been together for 4 yrs and all I get is a movie and dinner. And at the point he comes to me and pulls me to the side of the bed and tells me that he loves me and he couldn't imagine his life without me and how I've made him happy and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And then he said "Will you marry me?" My first response was "Are you kidding?" and he said "No." And I said "Yes..Yes..I will marry you!!!" I was blown away because he had been planning this for months. Only he and his mom knew and nobody else did.
Now during this time of us dating, I had started going to church with Matt and his family. Matt has always grown up going to church and he is a good Christian man and loves the Lord. So during our relationship and after going to church with him, I decided to give my life to the Lord. I was baptized and I had the people who mean the world to me there. And ever since then I have been living for the Lord.
Matt and Me have been married now for a little over 3 yrs and we have been trying to have a baby for awhile now. We haven't had luck because I have some issues but my dr is trying to fix it. I know that God will bless up when he thinks that we are ready and I truly believe that. But while we are trying I am enjoying every minute that I can with Matt. God will grant us a baby in his time and until that happens I am enjoying my life to the fullest.
I guess my whole point is God knew what he was doing when he put Matt and me together. Matt and me went to school together when we were little and then I moved but God brought Matt into my life for a reason. God had a plan for me and that plan was for Matt to be my husband. I had to go through all the bad stuff in my life to get where I am right now. I thank God every single day for bringing Matt into my life. He is my everything and I can honestly say that I don't know where I would be without Matt in my life. I guess you could say that I owe Matt my life.
Do you ever feel like you no matter how much you love someone it never feels that it's enough. Well that's how I feel about Matt and that is how God feels about you and me. I have been blessed in so many many ways and I owe all of the Glory to God. You truly are an AWESOME GOD!!
"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future." Jeremiah 29:11
It all started 8 yrs ago when I met Matt. I had just bought my first car and I went to his church, which also happens to be where my aunt and uncle go. I went there to show them my car and he just happened to be there. We talked some while I was there and that was about it. At that point in my life, I just come out of a relationship, where I wasn't treated the way I should have been and I had a lot of trust issues with men and I wasn't going to church. I had always gone to church because my nana took me and so did my great aunt and uncle. But at that particular time in my life, I was straying from God and wasn't doing things that I should be doing. I will be completley honest with you, I was drinking all the time and partying and needless to say, I failed out of college because of my behavior. So, when I met Matt I was attracted to him and I thought that I would start coming to church to see him. So I did and we talked more and more. Then one day after evening service our church had a softball game and I decided to go to it. I rememeber that day just like it was yesterday, Matt and me flirted the whole time and when the game was over and I was walking to my car I kept saying to myself that I wish Matt would ask for my number. And soon as I thought that, my uncle yells at me and he wants to know my telephone # and I asked him why and he said that Matt wanted it. Matt told me that he was going to ask me for it anyways. So I gave it to him not expecting a phone call or anything but the next day he called me. We talked that whole week on the phone and we finally went on a date. We went to Tyler to Chedders and went to see The Rookie. I was so nervous the whole time. We both wanted to hold each other's hand's and we both wanted to kiss each other at the end of the date but we were scared. The next night I was talking to my dad and he asked about Matt and asked if I heard anything from him and "I said I sure hope so dad, cause I really like him." And at that moment the phone rang and it was Matt and he said to me "Was I suppose to call you back" and I told him "YES!!!"
So the dating process began and we had our ups and downs and there were points in our relationship where I thought we would break up but God had another plan for us. You know they always say that when you find the right person and you know that it's the right person it will hit you. Well that saying is true because it happened to me. I remember exactly when I knew Matt was the one for me. He was coaching his brother's summer baseball team and he had called time out and was walking to the pitcher mound and when he was walking to it I looked at him and it just hit me. I knew right then and there that God had put him in my life for a reason and that I had gone through all the stuff I had to be with this one man. After 4 yrs of dating, which I am so thankful that we dated that long because we got to know each other so well, he finally proposed to me on our 4 yr anniversary. We had been at his apartment and had gone to eat and see a movie and as I was getting in bed I was thinking to myself, this is it...we've been together for 4 yrs and all I get is a movie and dinner. And at the point he comes to me and pulls me to the side of the bed and tells me that he loves me and he couldn't imagine his life without me and how I've made him happy and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And then he said "Will you marry me?" My first response was "Are you kidding?" and he said "No." And I said "Yes..Yes..I will marry you!!!" I was blown away because he had been planning this for months. Only he and his mom knew and nobody else did.
Now during this time of us dating, I had started going to church with Matt and his family. Matt has always grown up going to church and he is a good Christian man and loves the Lord. So during our relationship and after going to church with him, I decided to give my life to the Lord. I was baptized and I had the people who mean the world to me there. And ever since then I have been living for the Lord.
Matt and Me have been married now for a little over 3 yrs and we have been trying to have a baby for awhile now. We haven't had luck because I have some issues but my dr is trying to fix it. I know that God will bless up when he thinks that we are ready and I truly believe that. But while we are trying I am enjoying every minute that I can with Matt. God will grant us a baby in his time and until that happens I am enjoying my life to the fullest.
I guess my whole point is God knew what he was doing when he put Matt and me together. Matt and me went to school together when we were little and then I moved but God brought Matt into my life for a reason. God had a plan for me and that plan was for Matt to be my husband. I had to go through all the bad stuff in my life to get where I am right now. I thank God every single day for bringing Matt into my life. He is my everything and I can honestly say that I don't know where I would be without Matt in my life. I guess you could say that I owe Matt my life.
Do you ever feel like you no matter how much you love someone it never feels that it's enough. Well that's how I feel about Matt and that is how God feels about you and me. I have been blessed in so many many ways and I owe all of the Glory to God. You truly are an AWESOME GOD!!
"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future." Jeremiah 29:11
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