Lots on the mind

So as some of you may know, Matt and I have been trying to get pregnant for awhile now and we haven't had any luck. Well I go to the dr this Tuesday for a HSG test to see if I have any blockage. The test isn't suppose to be painful but then again, I don't handle any type of pain. But, what they will do is put some dye into my body to see if I have any blockage in my fallopian tubes or if there is any thing else wrong. So, I go Tuesday @ 12:00 to have that done. But, I just pray that whatever is wrong with me they will find out Tuesday and we can get this thing fixed. When I was little I always thought that God had a plan for me and I always thought that plan was to be a mommie. That is what I want more then anything in this world. I want to be able to create something so wonderful and know that Matt and me created this little baby and that this baby was created with love. Everybody keeps telling me that it will happend if you relax and not worry about it or stress about it. But my repsonse to all of that is this, "If you can tell me a way to relax and not worry or stress about this type of situation then by all means please tell me how to do it because I will try just about anything." What frustrates me the most in all this is, I see women out there and even teenagers for the matter, who don't have a care in the world or can't afford to take care of themselves lead along a baby, and they get pregnant just like that. Where as me, I avoided trying to get pregnant by taking birth control, and now that Matt and me want to have a baby, we are having a hard time. I just don't understand and I guess I never will. All I can do is pray and that is what I do, but there is apart of me that wonders if that is enough. I know I shouldn't think like that because God will provided for his people and I know that he will provided for me. I know that God will grant us a baby like he did Abraham and Sarah. Sarah thought she would never be able to have childrean with Abraham but God blessed her in their old age. So I have to look at this story and tell myself God will bless me just like he did Sarah and I know that he will.